The final day.
Good day of sun and a hilly but pleasant ride to Land's End from Bodmin... Kernow's finest- Andy and Mick- there to greet me and help share the bottle of bubbly they'd brought to celebrate... Thank you guys :)
Founder of patagonia...
"The word adventure has become overused. For me, adventure is when it all goes wrong. That's when adventure begins."
After the first day, set in hell after it had frozen over, I did not view this as an adventure.
I'll look back and think of it with a wry smile though. Thank you Caz for making me smile when all felt like it was falling apart.
This blog is a heartfelt thankyou. From donating, to voting on the glitter poll, to your messages of support, to tracking the ride and for even just reading my ramblings... Thankyou.
All of this support has helped me complete the ride come hell or high water... Or snow, or blizzards, or sleet, or ice, or gales, or punctures....
This ride was for Claire.
What I have done is nothing compared to the battle that she fought... Always with hope and always with strength... you inspired me to do this.
Claire gave me the inspiration for this, but Danie, without your love, support and strength, I wouldn't have been able to complete this and in doing so, raise over £12,000 to help others who may so sadly find themselves in a similar place.
So here's to glittery beards, snowy hills and sunny hills and long days in the saddle... And to Claire, wherever you are.
P.s. And if you were wondering what the most pointless item i brought with me was, first prize goes to 1.5kg d-lock. (And the key I left behind in Bristol)
A week ago I was facing gale force wind in minus 5 degrees and snow was defying gravity.
Today was an amazing day.
Left Bristol before 8 and climbed up past Lulsgate.
The Sun was most definitely out and the wind was fluttering flags in all the right directions.
Easy riding down to Taunton where a few people sponsored me when I stopped to eat at a Garden centre!
Big climbs past Tiverton over Cadbury but sublime descents through patchwork of devonian fields and hills. Big smiles.
Joined the A30 at Okehampton and cycled along that to my last stop for the day at Bodmin. Two punctures just before sunset didn't even manage to taint today... Big 140miler ...60miles to the finish line tomorrow and then Will be getting a train back arriving Bristol Temple Meads at 8pm. Some drinks will be following this at the Pipe and Slippers. Certainment.
Ate dinner in a hotel I stopped at in Bodmin and was served by the reincarnation of Cybil Fawlty.... The look. The scorn. The hospitality. The lot.
 A little anecdote from today...
A few days ago, some friends pledged £100 if I could glitter a stranger's beard... Here's a lovely story...
Meet Jock and John.
Stopped to take some cash out in Taunton and bought a big issue from Jock. Got talking about my charity ride and the reasons for it. Sadly his friend's- John-sister and brother had passed away last year. And he was so sorry to hear of my family's loss.
Understandably, he was unable to sponsor me but loved the idea of being able to help by having his beard glittered.
John told me that Jock was quite the character around town and often gets involved in charity events.
He was really moved to be able to help me raise almost £100 and wanted details of my site in case anyone he talked to wanted to donate too.
Thank you Jock...
 2 days after Danie picked up a rather forlorn, cold, pale and pretty miserable cyclist from a lane 15miles north of Telford, she dropped off another at the exact same spot. This one had a smile on his face albeit smaller than the smile that would’ve been there had it been more than -2 degrees and later than 0650.
The two days in between had been spent getting better and also being fed carbs at every single turn I took. (Thank you Danie)
Cycled from the point I stopped on Friday to Ironbridge where we had stayed the night before for breakfast.
15 miles before breakfast- a sure fire way to make sure you finish it all.
Cycled down to Kidderminster. Had a lovely lasagne (veggie) in the De Beers garden centre and the staff there very kindly donated £15 to the cause. Thank you! Off through to Worcester.
Managed to infuriate a ‘serious’ cyclist for a good few miles by keeping up with him with all my luggage AND then doing the unthinkable- over taking him. My cheery “Mornin!” was met by a grimace.
Arranged to meet up with Kai (my nephew and Claire’s son – 3 1/2/ now) and his dad Chris in Gloucester. He’d just had chickenpox but still pretty cheery considering and was just so lovely to have a big hug and a kiss from him.
A sublime cycle down the A38 to Bristol- sun came out and my average speed was up to just under 16mph for the day.
Coming into Bristol and Mr Allen had overtaken me in the car and flagged me down to say hello and well done!
Mum and Dad had set up camp on Horfield common (5minutes earlier), and greeted me with some extremely enthusiastic flag waving. Great to see them.
Home sweet home- but not before the Gaits (pupil and fellow school governor) pulled up to welcome me home- very touching thank you!
So- a much, much better day. The sun is out tomorrow and the winds- so the gods would have them- are due to be pushing me onto the home straight.
What favourable weather for the last two days. And yes- I do feel like I thoroughly deserve it.
It's Danie here updating the blog for Mark - today he does not feel like writing anything.
For the past three days Mark has been suffering with a terrible stomach bug and yet he has carried on regardless. Today he even managed nearly 100 miles down to Telford which really is remarkable on a good day, never mind in this freezing cold and with a horrible illness.
Mark is very dehydrated and is running on empty, he can't hold anything in - neither food nor drink. It would be very dangerous for him to keep pushing on, and actually he has been pretty silly to do so for the past three days; so this evening he has decided that he needs to get better before he can do the final three days.
This has really upset him as I am sure you can imagine as he has put his heart and soul into this ride and he managed to keep on going through the coldest March in 50 years, however he really does need to rest and get better.
So unfortunately the welcome cycle ride will not be happening tomorrow.
I am certain you will all join me in congratulating Mark on his immense courage and strength in battling the elements and I am also sure that you will agree that he has already well and truly earnt his over £10,000 sponsorship and so even if he never gets on his bike again - he has already gone way over and above what we ever expected of him.
Saying that though, he is still insisting that he is determined to finish the length of the country before the end of the Easter break so watch this space.... It's not over yet.
Woke up with an actual appetite for food. Finished the first meal for 36hours and was actually looking forward to a gentle 20mile ride over Shap to Kendal.
Some beautiful scenery on both sides but as I thought some of you may be getting bored of such scenic photos, I included one of my bike on a hay bale in front of a quarry. Very avant garde.
The nine mile climb up Shap wasn't too bad at all and seeing as my beloved racing bike has jade such a bleak and slowly plodding few days we both enjoyed the treat of racing down the other side, on an open and quiet road with the sun shining and not a hint of snow at 43mph... Nnneeeeoo! (Well below the 60 speed limit.)
Arrived in Kendal just as the schools closed for holidays... A man with a gold glittery beard cycling through town obviously went down well with their end of term mood... Lots of laughs and smiles.
Ate lunch just outside Kendal and decided to launch a new fundraising initiative...
Glitter someone else's beard... Or give them a glitter beard if they don't have one.
Already had £85 pledged on Facebook... If you want to see a photo of me with a complete stranger who I have convinced to glitter their beard... Pledge an amount below in the blog comments. When the deed is done, I ask you to please then donate your pledged amount via my donation page.
...I promise to go ALL out on this one.
Mood mahooosively improved, cycled into Garstang ... Just under 80miles on my supposed rest day means I'm now only a day off schedule.
Bristol by Saturday.
The wonderful and beautiful Danie, who I've missed so much, is meeting me tomorrow night so please do not expect the usual long winded, then this happened, then this happened... account of tomorrow's ride!
And I'll leave you all with this... Forget the Mars Rover... THIS is where technology is at-
Phone on waterproof mount on handlbars. GPS uploads location to website. Anyone can track my progress. Mum's been following closely...
Phone beeps and message appears...
"Are you sure you're going the right way? Love Mum"
Stop and turn around bike- already an extra 10miles added onto the day's ride... Potentially 30miles saved though.
Thanks Mum!
Attached are photos of silhouette of my bike in the fading Sun on a North Yorkshire wall, the view after Shap fell, bike on hay and the gold glittered beard.
I should be climbing the infamous nine mile climb that is Shap Fell.
Instead, I am curled up in bed in Penrith watching Flog it!
I have faced some terrors over the last few days... Some of you Will be able to relate to cycling in high winds, in snow blizzards, being swept along by HGV lorries and in sub zero temperatures perhaps not many and CERTAINLY hadn't until very, very recently.
However.... I am sure the following terror, i can safely say, has been shared by every single member of mankind. The slow onset of stomach cramps that leads to you racing, against all odds, to the nearest loo.
Last night I could only manage a bowl of plain rice and was probably quite dehydrated... Today I have a full blown tummy bug.
I found myself drawing parallels to an infirmed elderly patient as I left Lloyds pharmacy with two anti nausea tablets in my gums and with a selection fortisip drinks (the ones which come with straws attached) in lieu of the breakfast I couldn't manage to start. NOT exactly the diet plan for 100mile a day cyclists.
Managed to make it to Penrith so, as it stands, I am one day behind. Not being able to eat writes off any chance of a big cycle tomorrow... Running on empty today already.
I may be able to do a short ride tomorrow afternoon and if i do i will be able to test out the other half of a scientific experiment I carried out up Beatock yesterday...
I closely monitored the correlation between going uphill and going downhill against positive mood and negative mood.
I concluded that there was a DIRECT correlation. Uphill = bad mood.
Downhill = good mood.
By altering the hill you alter thrown mood. Simple.
Tomorrow I Will test changing the mood and closely monitor the type of hill. You never know... I may be in Bristol by Friday.
Bristol by Sunday is looking very feasible especially with the big climbs out of the way and more favourable weather ahead.
Lovely evening meal at the Swan Inn in Eaglesham... Put a link to my website and got two £20 sponsors and dinner on the house... Great pub and people. Thank you!
Big thank you to the kind owners who only charged me £15 as I was doing it for charity. Pigsty Bed and Breakfast... Thank you.
Now, allow me have a whinge.
Hardly slept last night as was up feeling sick... Adrenaline still pumping and Danie thought me having a protein shake just after a whiskey wasn't a great idea.
Feeling so tired and exhausted meant could only eat half my breakfast. Felt sick all day :(
Puncture repair with bare hands in the bitterly cold wind was not welcomed especially1/2 mile into the day.
Stoped after 10miles to try to take more food on... Only managed half a sandwich... Not exactly the calorific eating which I needed.
Felt sick all morning cycling through the snow drifts on small country lanes, and later, on the old A74, drifts of fly tipping and tyres on either side of the road.
Far too cold with a headwind to be taking photos of the white hills that surrounded me. Sorry.
Managed one of some proud wind farms... "Look how windy it is... Look at my blades go..."
Annoyed at my lack of progress... 40miles by 1, I stopped at a hotel for lunch. Had to cancel meeting up with friend Dave near Penrith...another 80miles on an upset and empty stomach was not going to happen. Was really looking forward to that mate.
On my way out, I queried the lady about how hilly it was further on... "oh, it flattens out from here on. Wait - which ways ar ye going? Oh... Well that`s different then... The trains used to get stuck going up Beatock."
Having had my spirits lowered even further- a buisness man tried to engage me in a conversation about just how 'loooong' it takes to drive to Bristol. Hmmpft.
"Unfortunately, the on board chef has run out of sandwiches. The next station will be Bristol Temple Meads- please make sure you have all your belongings with you."
As I shook the snow out of my numb left ear, I simultaneously awoke from my day dream.
Ears free from snow, I was able to retune in to the roar of the adjacent M74.
The rail mainline up to Glasgow runs parallel to the M74 and the old A74 (the road I was pedalling along at a meagre rate). All three running along in that order. Ironically in that order of comfort and speed. Train. Car. Bike.
Ocasionally the order would swap... But only when the train ducked underneath the motorway. Bike was still at the bottom in terms of speed and comfort.
Every now and then a polite sign would inform me that
"Cycle track narrows".
I argued with the imaginary sign writer that it should read...
"the space on the side of the road on the other side of the white line (the bit covered in rubbish, broken glass, fly tipping and that has never been resurfaced since the road was built) is going to disappear completely soon."
"Well no one would be able to read that many words on a sign that small."
Touche Mr Sign writer.
Saw a road sign next to a turning marked...
'To Scotland's highest village'. Somehow I managed to resist the burning desire to turn up it.
Arrived at Lockerbie just before 5... Very much needed after yesterdays finish time of 8pm.
I know that there are some glaring grammatical errors and typos in these blogs but they are all written on my phone and my deft and slender fingers are not that what they once were.
6MS- additional (optional) holiday homework... Print a blog out and edit it ready for first Monday
A poultry 70mile day... Beaten by snow, wind and fatigue...
This may be a 10 day event...
So... If you are feeling generous, or better still- sorry for me, donate away...
Feeling like a long way from home today but this is all for two great causes and will give some of the help Claire and Kai have had to others so buck up Stinch and get to bed.
Tomorrow is a big day.
(... Deja-vu/ecoute?!)
Love from Lockerbie.
Well... What a day of two halves...
After yesterday's failed attempt to cross the pass due to blizzard conditions, I spent a lot of the evening looking at weather forecasts and umming and ahhing.
The Met office mountain forecast for the area was Red risk for wind- gusting 60mph gale force withred risk for temperature- minus 5 down to minus 18 with wind chill.
With more pretty hideous weather forecasts on the national news I was really considering postponing the trip and feeling very, very blue.
One option was to travel down through the islands of Oban and Arran- quick call from mum to say that Arran has snow drifts as high as houses and has been without power for 4days. One less option.
Phone call from my good friend Phil (mountain bike trail builder extraordinaire and general bike afficionado) in the morning helped talk through the options. There was no way I could cross the pass and couldnt just hop on a bus.
In the end had to back pedal to Spean Bridge 35miles from where I had reached the previous day. Train from here looped round the mountains over the bleak Rannoch Moor to Crianlarich. In doing so I missed out the mountain pass section- 25 miles. Which would mean- miles wise- i'd be making up for rhe mountain pass.
Bleak, grey, windy view out of the train window towards the pass I had avoided...
(see photo)
As the energy crystals from the energy bar i'd just eaten dissolved into my blood stream, or something like that, I zoomed off the train that i'd been on for an hour and a half.
34mph on the flat didn't last very long.
Beautiful cycle past Loch Lomand and even time to stop for a game of golf.
Busier roads on the outskirts of Glasgow but managed it through unscathed and further south to the bed and breakfast.
Pleased Id almost made my target miles today even with the late start and train...
Off the bike at 8pm!
Big day ahead tomorrow to cross the border and on to Carlise then Penrith.
Up at six to have an early breakfast and then set off.
The owners had left a stack of sandwiches.
Amazingly quiet roads, gentle winds and the sound of birds singing as I made my way to Drumnadrochit on the shores of Loch Ness... Quite slow going as it was mostly uphill but an amazingly welcome downhill to the loch got me singing a song consisting only of the word... Downhill. More of a long shout than a song but sung with the sort of gusto that only exists when the previous day of cliff top gales and lorries has been forgotten.
Had sandwiches at Urquart castle... Stunning ruin before heading along the length of Loch Ness. No sign of the monster :( ... Or perhaps I was whizzing along too quickly to notice.
The wind was slightly behind me and happily doing 25mph on the flat.
Stopped for a coffee and food at Fort Augustus and was my 'designer beard' was commented on!
On the road to Fort William- the loch hemmed in by snowy mountains. Breathtaking and stiking.
Stopped for lunch in Fort William. Feel stupid to say this but I didn't actually notice Ben Nevis towering above me untill I realised that every shop, cafe, hotel, pu was called something-Ben Nevis or Ben Nevis-something.
Stopped off to take a photo of my bike on the shoreside with the mountains across the Loch looking grand.
Turned a corner to head to Glencoe and was hit, smack bang, by my old faithful- the wind.
Slogged on to Glencoe and had a 'cream tea' of rice crispy cake and Iron Bru.
My bed and breakfast another 25miles. Huge mountains with the mountain pass road weaving between them all.
Long hard climb at 6mph saw my average speed for the day drop from 14.9.
Still climbing up the pass and the wind picked up- funnelled by the valley. The snow, which had been light all day, got heavier with car parks either side of the road now covered.
The horizontal snow of day 1 returned.
15miles left to go and had to turn back. With all the optimism in the world I might've made it there by sunset. Finding myself caught 15 miles away from either village, in the middle of a blizzard on the mountain pass at dusk was not appealing...
Still... By turning back I added another 10miles to my total mileage... Only another 25miles to make up for yesterday.
Lovely bed and breakfast and a stunning sunset in one direction and a scene resembling Mordor in the other.
Woke at quarter to six to set off and get the taxi to John o Groats...
Heard about all manner of JOGLE attempts from the driver from 2month long 'distillery tours' to a skateboard and fridge attempt- every time he'd passed them they had been collapsed by the side of the road.
Almost lost my gloves as they were blown away at JOG... A rock next to the harbour saved them.
Took a rather windswept photo of me at the furthermost tip of the UK before reaching Never Never Land and then Mordor. Wild in a word.
The first 12miles was all directly into the wind. Inland it had been strong, on the coast it was insane.
Leaning the bike into the wind and trying to use my back as a sail against the what was now a crosswind.
Arrived back into Wick for a lovely cooked breakfast. Was given a donation by a lovely older lady called Mary from Ireland... Thank you again if you read this Mary.
Set off once again and now the wind was joined by snow travelling horizontally. Sheep, sensibly sitting behind the shelter of walls, looked on with an air of bemusement. A flock of birds took off as I passed and spent a good two minutes battling alongside me.
Changing direction every now and then meant that the wind was slightly behind me and whoooosh did I go.
Pretty amazing how many different noises the wind can make as it squeezes through any and every gap possible.
After about 40miles in, the wind stepped up. I thought I would try not to get off and push my bike up a hill for the whole 940mile trip... I never thought I would be pushing my bike downhill on the first day. Mostly the leaning the bike at an angle worked but every ow a stonger gust would blow and I'd career onto the other side of the road.
Amazing scenery, rugged cliffs, ruined castles, huge foaming waves rolling in.
After serious thought i decided that it was just too dangerous to contine along the coastal A9. Getting passed by HGVs whilst trying to keep the bike (with 23mm tyres and luggage) on the right side of the road was getting a bit scary and i knew if I could get to Helmsdale, 55miles in, i could get the train another 35miles to where the road went inland.
With no other route down and the forecast looking equally ominous tomorrow I walked/rode on to the station.
Whilst waiting there met a grandad with his Grandson... Apart from amusing me with his description of the beauty of Scotland with an amazingly broad accent (and using every expletive that I know... And possibly more) he also told me that a young cyclist had been hit and killed by an HGV on Sunday.
As much as I hated having to get the train, and no one could be as annoyed as me, Im glad I did.
A quick 30mile ride to Beauly and a whiskey... I've passed at least 5 distilleries so would hate to offend anyone.
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