Claire, by Mark. The eulogy from her funeral service.
On the 26th June, 1982 in an impressive labour of 2 hours, Claire Fiona Stinchcombe was born. A very gentle and considerate baby, even in childbirth and moved onto sleeping through the night within 4 weeks. 9 Months previously, Nicola and Andrew had spent their honeymoon hopping around Greek islands unsuccessfully guarding their belongings and clothes against rogue greek fishermen. At the age of 18 months, Claire had already travelled round the world - anyone who has seen photos of those travels will remember her blonde locks, beautiful smile and big bright blue eyes. I know that my parents met so many people, particularly in the Pacific and in Asia, simply because they were so attracted and fascinated by this ‘china doll’. Claire cherished having another addition to the family, at the age of two and half, for a short while- but his endless stream of paraphernalia which would clutter up her cooker mid way through another dinner service of plastic fruit and plasticine did get very tiresome….The look of absolute frustration and annoyance on her face captured in a photo as she swipes yet MORE baby clothes from her ‘fisher price oven’ is priceless. From a young age Claire enjoyed, or rather got used to, the Stinchcombe tradition of ‘roughing it’- at all costs! However, it was the family camping holidays in North Devon which I know were so much more treasured than the amazing holidays all over the world we were both so fortunate, grateful and privileged to have had. One of my favourite cine clips is of her crawling on all fours ‘au naturel’ (apart from sun hat), in a field in Devon with a young sheep following her, sniffing quizzically unsure whether or not this young thing who kept glancing back over her shoulder was of it’s kind or another. Family holidays in Devon invariably included bicycles, hills, the odd over enthusiastic use of the front brake on claire’s part and tears. Character building stuff. Cycling holidays were not just confined to North Devon. France was conquered on two wheels too- again with occasional tears at the end of a 40 mile bike ride (aged 52, 44, 9 and 7!). Claire did enjoy these holidays though and even wrote a postcard to Dad to thank him for taking us… It read.. Dear Daddy, Thank you so much for the cycling holiday. I loved all of it. Except for the cycling. Love from Claire Amanda, our cousin, played a big part of our Summer holidays and loved them- we enjoyed having her over too: three against two meant we spent more time on the beach running around the sand dunes. As we got older they would leave me with mum and dad at the campsite, wander into the local town and totter back rather merrily a few hours later! Now it’s Kai who loves sitting on the back of Claire’s bike going to nursery or even going to watch the trains and hopefully will start riding his own bike soon! At school, Claire was never particularly studios or had any desire to be so- there was so much more to life than timestables or spellings! Mr Jenkins, Claire’s reception teacher, did point out at a parents evening to Mum and Dad , that Claire always took her time sharpening her pencil- there was simply just too much wandering around to be done, too many things to fuss about and too many vital chats to have on the way! One of Claire’s responsibilities at secondary school was to ring the bell at the end of lessons. She delighted her class mates and baffled her teachers by managing to extend break times and shorten lessons. After she was caught adjusting the school clocks- the school day returned back to it’s usual timings! From a teachers point of view I know that she was the frustrating, chatty and mischievous pupil- but the one you can’t help warming towards and the one who makes the job so much more interesting and fun! Swimming was a big part of Claire’s life and she trained hard, competing well in county competitions. She made good friends at Bristol Henleaze and was a motivated and valued member of their team- winning several gold county medals for the club. She has always loved the sport and up until very recently she would take Kai to the local pool every week which he loves. Yet another wonderful gift she has given him. Claire left St Ursulas to go to St Mary Redcliffe school for 6th Form. She worked part time as a cleaner at another school and was even kind enough to persuade them to give her younger brother a job too. I did feel very guilty and a bit ashamed when I had to tell her that I’d actually been fired- but of course Claire didn’t hold it against me and thought it was quite amusing. She did well enough with her A levels to get into Gloucestershire University where she met so many of the good friends she still was in close contact with. Not hugely enthusiastic about the prospect of yet more studying she left before the end of her degree. And Dad was not best pleased when she announced that she’d only ever gone for the experience anyway. The loyal friend, not too proud that she hadn’t finished her degree, was of course there at the graduation ceremony to congratulate and be there for all her friends who had. That’s the sort of friend she was. Claire worked at Crew clothing in both Bristol and Cheltenham and again proved, to all she worked with and for, that she would always go the extra mile. And if that happened to mean annoying her fellow workers by constantly playing Elton John songs, well then that’s what she would do. Claire had a brief spell with the Glocusetershire polive head quarters and was awarded a medal for the part that she played during the floods in the region and even shook hands with Tony Blair. She moved on to SPirax Sarco- a company that her great uncle had worked for in the 1950’s. I don’t think they believed their luck when such a hardworking, polite, funny and kind girl joined the office and I have heard that quite a few of the male employees were very pleased that this beautiful and vivacious new temp had come to work there too! It was at this company that Claire met, Chris, Jane and Gary. Three people who became such a big and important part in her life and more recently mine and my parent’s. Claire was an organised person who liked to plan things, like her mother, in great detail. Kai was not part of her plan at that stage in her life, however, when he was born, he ticked every box. I have mentioned some of the jobs that Claire did and did so well but it was after Kai’s arrival that Claire really found the job that she was absolutely made for. To be a mother. She had quite a difficult labour but that is the only time that Kai has ever put her through any pain- apart from the occasional over enthusiastic bite of excitement. Words cannot describe how everyone who has watched Claire bring up Kai, has felt. Kai has had the best- not in terms of toys and fancy designer clothes, but in terms of love, care, attention, and education from Claire. When he’s smiling and laughing Jane and Gary say that that’s when they see Claire most in him. And everyone who knows Kai will know that this is the majority of the time. Her fight against her awful disease was inspiring. She never gave up hope and fought till the very end. Her wonderful friends Caroline and Sarah and immediate family, never allowed her to be alone in the last six difficult weeks away from home. The Sue Ryder Hospice was an amazing place full of astonishingly kind people. I felt so privileged to be with her and my mum at the her end- it was a very spiritual moment to open the shutters of her windows, see the beautiful garden outside and hear the birds singing at dawn in her final moments. As peaceful, beautiful and graceful as she was in life, she was in passing. As clichéd as it’s sounds there is a lot of love here in this room today. Love for a wonderful person who is no longer here in body. But her love for others still remains and her positive energy, which knew no bounds, will continue on in Kai and help him grow up and do all the wonderful things which will make his mum so proud. There are no words that I can say which will come as close to paying testament to Claire as Kai does. Kai, my parents and I, all feel that we were blessed with the most wonderful, mother, daughter and sister we could have ever hoped for. In the words of her oncolcology consultant who came into her room and kissed her forehead the night before she left the hospital to go to the hospice… “Good night Claire, sweet dreams”. |